Dentaphobia

I spent the past two days visiting the dentist. Yesterday was a much dreaded cleaning and check-up. And today, I had a small crack fixed. I was thrilled that was all I had wrong. The news hasn't been as good the past 26 times I've gone. ...

Most people I know hate going to the dentist and put it off as long as possible. I have thought about this long and hard, and come to my own conclusion....

I do not dislike the tooth doctor for the needles and drills. Not even the tapered files used to torture one during a root canal. Although I don't enjoy talking with numb lips, when I am finished- I can handle it. Maybe all my years spent at the orthodontist's paid off. Not because my teeth are nice and straight (who knew your teeth move your WHOLE life?!) but because I gained an extreme tolerance to oral torture. Many people I know put off making the appointment. Is it the sounds, smells, and feelings that go along with the visit?

For me, it's none of the above. It is sheer humiliation. Embarrassment. A visit to the DDS is, in my book, far worse than a visit to the OBGYN. The dentist is much more intimate. I have carefully studied eyebrows and pores; dandruff and whiskers; ear hairs and wrinkles. But the darn dentist has an advantage over me: a strategically placed mask. No fair. It covers his mouth and nose. Thus concealing bad breath (thank goodness,) forgotten popcorn kernels, and boogers. When preparing for the dentist, careful thought must be taken to ensure nothing is where it shouldn't be inside my facial cavities. Heaven forbid I should miss something. And that's just the beginning. I have pleaded with my dentist on more than one occasion to just pull the dang things. He refuses, saying I have plenty of 'tooth left'. HOW?! after drilling for three hours, can there be anything left?! It must be a ploy to collect more cash. In attempt to plea my case each visit, I site my impeccable flossing habit. It really is embarrassing that I have had so many stupid cavities. How can my once cavity-free mouth be so filling-ridden? I blame it on the kids.